Richard A. Ashby (1961 - 2024)

 Death is the best of time and the worst of time to consider someone's life, with apologies to Charles Dickens.  The good thing is that the story is over.  The last sentence written.  Looking for facts fits within a neat set of parenthesis (1961 - 2024).  But, of course, the story is over.  There's no more to be written.  And there's no way to ask the source about the what, the why, the wherefore behind the "facts".  

I am the blessed graduate of an idiosyncratic religious college in the middle of nowhere.  I gave my heart to assimilate, but in the end it was futile.  The truth set me free.  And I know, I would not be the well-adjusted, happy person I am today without having transited through those years.  In spite of its wacky ideas about faith and religion, I will never again be in the midst of so many good, and good-hearted people.  Of course, there were some oddballs.  I doubt many of these same people would approve of my "apostate" life, but;

hey, I know what the world apostate means thanks to them!  I know a whole lot of amazing things because of my friendships and acquaintances.  

They send out a regular alumni rag with articles on all the amazing things Jesus is doing for them, and highlights of accomplishments of alumni like babies had, books written, PhD's earned.  The usual.  It's all uninteresting to me; however, I do skim the In Memoriam.  In particular members of the classes of '80 through '86 when I was there and for a few years thereafter.  The latest edition arrived today and listed under that section was "Richard Ashby '83, Business Owner/Finance, 7/18/24 Milton, Delaware."  Hmmm...

Owing to my surname, Richard was one of the first people I ever met at Asbury.  Like Elementary School, there was some alphabetical ordering of activities during orientation week.  I remember that he was from Pennsylvania.  His father was a Methodist minister, and it was during a time when he was pastor of a church in the vicinity of Pittsburgh.  He was a happy-go-lucky fellow.  Quick to laugh.  Always in a hurry.  When we were Sophomores he ran against me for class President.  I won.  But it was all in fun.  Still, somewhere inside him I always felt there was a little sadness.  Or maybe, hindsight is 2020.  

Looking for an Obituary was fruitless.  I eventually found Obit's for his mother, and a brother 10 years his senior.  For Richard, I found an arrest record from 2007 for passing a pair of bad checks in the amounts of $1,000.00 each.  Another Court case from 2002 in which he petitioned for reconsideration of a revocation of his driver's license for 5 years on the grounds of 3 serious citations while driving between 2000 and 2002.  He lost.  His Driver's License was revoked.  The final document was the approval of a request by another brother to be made heir of his "estate".  Recent addresses indicated modest but nice abodes.  No mention of any heirs or indication of said.  The photo is from our Junior College Yearbook.  Richard would have been 21.

Life is a funny old bird.  What you imagine it will be when you are but 20 or 22 is no guarantee of getting there.

A Blast from the Past: Original Art

 Images from a trip to the National Arboretum that I took with my beloved dog, Romeo (2011 - 2023).  Today I received the gift of a painting made from one of these images by my friend, Barbara--who is an artist.

What joy!

"Blessed Romeo"

Barbara's Painting

My Door of Yearlong Cheer

 Every year I place the Holiday cards that I receive on the inside of my front door.  Greetings from friends and acquaintances wishing me a Merry Christmas, Happy Solstice, Joyous Hanukkah, and even the Prosperous New Year.  Never too many to cover the door and for the next 12 months they are the first thing I see when I come down the stairs of a morning, the last thing i see as head out into the world.  They are a constant reminder that I am loved and part of many communities.  What joy!

The Big One Is Coming!

 The Annular Solar Eclipse that was experiences today from Portland, Oregon east to Brownsville, Texas is the prelude to the real deal.  In April, the United States will once again host a Total Solar Eclipse of the Sun.  This one will also run West to East crossing our boarder over the Rio Grande between Del Rio and Eagle Pass, Texas, and then heading northeast to exist in to Canada just north of Houton, Maine.  The interesting thing about both events is they intersect across the heart of San Antonio, TX.

The upcoming Total Solar Eclipse will occur on April 8th.  The last one happened on August 17, 2017, and I was privileged to experience it in the gracious company of friends who live in Dubois, Wyoming.  It was one of the most amazing things I've every seen in my life.  And I'm hooked.

The map shows part of the pathway across the United States, and the yellow dot represents where a friend lives with whom I will be experiencing this event.  The red dots represent where various friends live whom I'm alerting to this opportunity now.  It's worth finding a way to get there, and then do it on its apex.  To truly understand the power of the event, you need to be on the focus line of the eclipse.  

Post-Christmas Present #1

A brilliant young man and the son of my best friends for over 30 years sent me this wonderful little gift! I mean, the wrapping paper alone wins high praise!--Dino-mite! And that this brilliant young man so perfectly selects a delightful gift for me? "The force is great in this one."

Christmas Door

 Every year I do accumulate my holiday cards and place them upon the inside of my front door for the year to come.  It's a lovely way to remember all the joy I am fortunate to be the recipient of.

Christmas Presents!

Santa's helpers have been busy this year!  Packages from New York, Massachusetts, Kentucky and Illinois with gifts for both me and Romeo.  

However, poor Romeo has had all the excitement he can manage with just a sumptuous repast.  A nap is in order.

Such wonders, such wonderful friends!

I know for a fact that my friend made the bayberry candle from scratch.  An amazing gift from a gifted person.

Santa Was Good To Me!

 

Frida Kahlo's Monkey

 A package!  A package from Kansas!  And what wonders await inside?  A work of art for my plants from a friend, an artist, a teacher whom I've known for over 40 years!  What joy!

Such an elegant thinness, it has me worried about placing a plant directly into it because of the power of roots to break pots.

Special Delivery from Melbourne, Mate!

To have such friends, even those who live so far away, is a wonder and a joy!

Is a golden Tasmanian Devil a Tazie?  Like winning an AACTA or an ARIA?!  I know I feel as special as if I had.  

Artists and Makers: Atelier Complex Class of 2020 group Exhibition

Attended opening night last evening.

Artists and Makers is a collection of artists who inhabit a veritable catacomb of spaces connected by a labyrinth of narrow hallways and the occasional larger room where classes can be held, and where on this evening the opening reception complete with two tables of food was set-up.  If you'd never been here before, you might have been fooled into thinking that this was it, the entire show.  This was just appetizer.  through the the rest of the hallways and alcoves, the members of the show were given a wall or a niche in which to hang as many of their paintings as they could squeeze into the space.  And once you fill those narrow halls with people, well, it's quite a thing to experience.

I had invited my friend and colleague, Marion, to join me.  We both noted how many people seems to enjoy the food more than the art.  Marion is German.  This seemed particularly odd to her.

Bottom line for us, we were actually there to support a mutual friend who had participated in the extensive instruction and was now part of this culminating event.  Patti had taught at the same elementary school as we do for over two decades with us before retiring.  Now, she is devote the time and energy that she didn't have when teaching to her own art.

Patti's Paintings

Selected Other Works on Display by other artists.

Old Friends

Had a lovely reunion with a old friend and her daughter on this past Saturday.  Her 17-year-old spent the previous week in DC attending a Youth Justice Institute sponsored by the ACLU.  How amazing an opportunity for a young women from rural western Michigan.  A mirror of the joy reconnecting with my friend brought to me. 

I don't often get personal on this blog in this way, but I will tell you this: I am a rich man.  My treasure is not in gold or silver or stocks or real estate.  My pearl of great price in my human capital, my friends.

N sought to surprise me with a brunch invite to a DC restaurant called "The Dirty Martini".  The enticement was a weekly Drag Brunch.  Mind you, it's been nearly 20 years since we met in person, and while I am gay, I have no particular fascination with Drag culture (nor any disdain).  As we waited to be seated, the place transformed and cranked up the sound system so loud we couldn't even chat without shouting...  Oh me, oh my--not a good fit.  I suggested another restaurant, and she agreed en toto.  So off to Kramer's Books & Cafe we whisked ourselves.  A much more conducive venue to the parameters of a successful reunion!

Afterward, I walked my friend and her daughter back to there hotel.  Then in a fit of inspiration decided to walk up the National Zoo!  Here's where I encountered the Lion Bridge on Connecticut Avenue, NW that crosses over Rock Creek.  Before reaching the bridge I passed by the equestrian statue of Civil War General McClellan.  My great grandfather was partially named for him.  So many ideas spinning and colliding around me all the time.

Next the lions that guard the Lion Bridge's entrances on Connecticut Avenue.

And the view before walking the Bridge's span...

An Evening of Music and Dinner; "Current American Lyricism"

I had the pleasure of attending a house concert this evening hosted by a longtime friend whom I haven't seen in person for about 20 years!  Life is so silly.  Once upon a time when I first moved to DC, Paul was part of a group of LGBT folk including myself who were trying to transform the Episcopal Church from within here in the Diocese of Washington.  Through Integrity we probably saw one another and chatted twice a month for the better part of 5 years.  Then He moved to Baltimore, I lost interest in the church...  Through Facebook, we resumed our friendship.  He has since retired and hosts monthly house concerts.  His passion is for Contemporary American Art Song.

On a couple of occasions in the past, I have wanted to attend, but something would stop me in the end.  So tonight's concert was the evening, and I have to say, I don't think I could have chosen a better one.

The musicians were Soprano Maggie Finnegan and pianist Michael Sheppard.  There was a buzz around Michael who was praised for both his talent and his good looks.   I don't think that this evening's program permitted him to really display his virtuosity.  As with so much of contemporary Art Song, the accompaniment is often sparing yet intense in a sort of minimalist fashion.  The skill is really in the interpretation and not getting in the way of the singer.  He and Maggie had a wonderful rapport.  Now, to Maggie.  The program consisted of works by 4 contemporary composer: Alan Louis Smith, Scott Gendel, Scott Wheeler, and Tom Cipullo.  The opening piece was by Alan Louis Smith, a work entitled "For the Color of My Mother".  It opened on a note that was both surprisingly low for a Soprano, and yet offered up with such depth of feeling and warmth that I was utterly taken.  From that moment on, she commanded the music as naturally as breathing, but with an intelligence and skill that filled the art with diamonds.

I make it a point to not look at the program during the presentation.  I noted that several others did not share my discipline in this.  I do not know what compelled them to following along with the words printed therein.  I know that for myself, whenever I go to staring at the program it's usually to gage how much longer I have to endure something!  This evening, every song ended too soon.

In attendance was my friend Dee, and we were able to catch up with one another prior to the start of the concert.  I really didn't get a chance to close the gap of time with Paul.  Since he actually lives a stone's throw from the Maryland Zoo, perhaps there will be a time when I can treat him to a tour as my guest and we can catch up then.  Or certainly at another evening concert in his lovely home in the future.

Part of the evening is a meal provided by Paul.  Many wonderful offerings, and many vegan, so I made it a choice to steer my plate in that direction and enjoyed an amazing coleslaw with a dressing of purried onion and vegetable oil whipped into a mayonnaise-like emulsion.  And a white bean, chickpea and barley salad that was surprisingly robust.  I should have gone back for seconds, if any were left unclaimed!  Over the repast I had a delightful if brief conversation with a man from DC named Scott.  It only occurred to me after the fact that he might actually have been one of the composers.  There is certainly something quite comfortable in being unaware in moments like this.  At one point after the concert I overheard some very pretentious comments in a conversation among other guests and I thought, I am just too ignorant of these things to even have the ability to hold such opinions let alone the need.

My friend introducing the evening

Michael Sheppard at the Piano and Maggie Finnegan behind the music stand.

Another Day in Paradise

I have a colleague at school who is very passionate.  She engages with rigor the students with whom she works.  She wears her heart on her sleeve and as such can be both energetic and joyous, as well as, deflated and sad when things don't go as she hopes.  She's a paraeducator, and so she works with some of the most problematic learners helping them with some of the most fundamental building blocks of conceptual learning.  What she does is vital.  And she is very good at it.

One day, she asked me how I manage to not be brought down by some of the shit that goes on.  I said, "Well, I just remember how fortunate I am to have a role in the lives of children.  It's paradise to me."  This turned into an ongoing little passing encouragement.  When I see her, I smile and say, "Another day in paradise."

Her father died and she was away for a few days for the funeral.  Recently, she was tasked with clearing out his home office as plans move forward for the relocation of her mother into a more secure living arrangement.  While going through forgotten cabinets, she found this vintage wooden clapper.  It reminded her of our banter, and she gave it to me this past Friday.  What joy!

When you shake it, the little wooden balls extend and then smack the paddle to create a rhythmic clacking sound. 

On the one side it reads:

PARADISE

Cabaret Restaurant

Broadway and 49th St., N.Y.C.

50 Thrilling Girls 50

On the handle, a silhouette of a nude woman in a coy stance.

On the other side:

Heart and Center of

New York Night Life

- Never a -

Cover Charge

On the handle:

The Greatest

Cabaret Revue

Friends

As just mentioned, my birthday looms.  On Friday a set of cards and more packages arrived.  I got through some of them, but not all. I realized that after three, my heart was all full up and there was no need to not save the rest for yesterday!

First up was the larger package.  What to my amazing delight was inside?  A set of beautiful bowls from my dearest and longtime friends who live a couple of states over.  Not only are they beautiful, but also perfect for my daily lunch salads. It's the kind of thoughtfulness only friends bring to the table.

And I know I shouldn't have favorites among siblings, but I do.  Fortunately, the Black and White Ruffed Lemurs concur.

Best salad ever!

Zuni Fetishes

As my friend Louie often says, "What Joy!"  Came home this past Tuesday to no mail...  I dunno, the kid in me still looks forward to getting mail every day.  Then when I left for work on Wednesday morning, I opened the door to discover mail!  It included a little box.  I scooped it up and took it to work.  When I had a moment I went through it.  The package was from my friend and poet Nikky.

Although we've never met in person, over the years we've taken to sending one another little notes of encouragement and tokens of friendship.  She is an amazing poet--a fierce voice.

I opened the little box and inside was such a lovely little note and two black velvet bags.  When I opened them, out tumble two Zuni Pueblo Native American bear fetishes!  Carved by the artist Delvin Leeyka. I was stunned by their beauty and the generosity of this gift.  I know she has no idea when my birthday is, but she came pretty darn close to nailing it.

When joy I wake each morning to see them standing watch over me from my nightstand.  Good omens of friendship, purveyors of light and insight, protectors from dark angels.

Christmas Haul

I have everything I need.  I have most of the things I want, and those I don't have, I certainly don't need!  So the Holidays for me are really more about giving in that I fucking enjoy creating stuff and sending friends tokens of my appreciation.  Yet, there are some who will surprise me with reciprocal or even just out of the blue "objets d'amitié". And I do appreciate them in the same spirit that trust those I send are appreciated.

Just look! Lovely, colorful swamp shot plates from Caribbean nations, a book I already own (goes to show you just how well I am apprehended by my friends), a Star Wars T-shirt, a calendar with Firemen and Puppies! (two great tastes that go great together, right? Hey! You just got puppy on my Fireman...) and some doggie treats for dear Romeo. How totally perfect. Trusting your holidays were as bountiful.

Care Package from Downunder

Came home yesterday from school.  A perfectly unremarkable day.  Then sticking out of my mailbox was a large padded envelope from Australia!  How quickly fortunes turn.  Inside?  A small array of joys, tokens of friendship: A care package.  What joy

Delights are in the details.

Two oversized postcards from the National Gallery of Victoria in Melbourne.  Favorite images of my friend's and now mine as well.

 "Shearing the Rams" 1890 by Tom Robbins

 "The Pioneers" 1904 by Frederick McCubbins

Another gift a beautiful calendar of large photographs from Tasmania, obtained by my friend on a recent quick weekend "vaycay".  

"Rainforest, Tarkine" by Rob Blakers 

 "Mt Brown and Crescent Beach, Tasman National Park" by Rob Blakers

"Winter Sunset, The Labyrinth Cradle Mountain, Late St. Clair National Park by Grant Dixon