You say you don't "get" salads?  I say, you just haven't made a good one!  Here's my recipe. 

1) Get some really nice lettuce.  I prefer Iceberg for it's fresh, cool crispness and ability to meet dressing as an equal.  Romaine is bitter and soggy.
2) Mix with bite sized pieces of Green Peppers, Red Peppers, Cucumbers, Tomatoes (or whole Grape, Cherry or Zima Tomatoes), and whole Ripe Black Olives.
3) Pick a nice dressing:  I like Newman's Own Zesty Italian, Greek or Ranch; Brianna's Chipotle, Country French, or Asiago Caesar, and also Ken's makes my favorite straight up Caesar.

Now, clear your voice and sing (To the tune of Ta-ra-ra-boom-di-ai):

It's happy salad time!
It's happy salad time!
Get out your veggies now,
and make a salad --WOW!

Get to it--don't delay!
You'll have an awesome day.
When you a salad make,
and joyously partake.

It's happy salad time!
It's happy salad time!
It's happy salad time!
It's happy salad time!

[If this fails, add bacon!]

Romeo approves of this message, too.